I wish I could convince you , attract you more by the idea of the freedom in the body. Freedom that can express itself in every area of your life.
I thought my habit of accelerating the tempo while playing the piano (especially in front of people) was reserved only for that very activity. Maybe it sounds stupid, but this drive to finish quickly, to go to conclusion quickly, because time is money, because people don`t have time, because we need to do whole bunch of stuff, or maybe because there is so many out there screaming and shouting and demanding attention, that I try just to pass without being noticed.
My inner chatter is like this.
Doing my tasks is like this - finish quicker to get it done.
I remember my trip to the beautiful spot “Trzy Korony” in the Pieniny mountains, on Polish-Slovakian border. I took all the effort, all the time to get there. And then once arriving at the summit , I stood there for 3 seconds and said: ok there, what's next?
It's metaphysical : as much as we have a tendency to shorten in stature, to get smaller when being afraid, or exposed in our vulnerability , as much we may try to cut ourselves on time: not granting ourselves enough time to speak, enough space to articulate. We diminish ourselves, our existence in a sense. And that's because we don`t have time. Time is money, attention is time, attention is expensive.
But once we STOP, we know deep down it is not true. We know deep down, we went a little bit crazy with our running around, with our achievements, scores, notion of success, ideas of fulfilment. It is difficult though to stop and take your time when everyone around is impatient, almost with madness in their eyes thinking already about the next task. We influence each other. Sticking out might be dangerous, surely scary. Remind me though, what are we talking about here? We`re talking just about giving your body and mind space and time to exist, to be as it was designed to. To get the muscles of your back to the natural length, to allow your head to float freely on your easy neck, to breathe normally, to see what is surrounding you and to connect to where you are now.
Can you sustain this? Can you get up with it? Are you able just to exist fully and freely as you , while someone is paying attention to you?
The judgement. Self- and superself-. This is the devil. Evil.
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